I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In other news, I just burned my penis
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
God, I missed his penis.
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