Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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