OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
