I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
