So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
