out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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