What did we do last night that was yellow?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
