i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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