I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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