Pappa wants mamma naked
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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