Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
