Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
