you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
