yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
