Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
so much tequila, so little girl.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
