Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
