I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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