new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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