The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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