I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
