just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
