Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
