what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
