I heard we made out
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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