I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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