Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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