So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
