i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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