I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the raccoons are back...
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