Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
