whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
