Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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