Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
