There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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