Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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