He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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