It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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