My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's like God shit irony all over that family
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
