There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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