I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize