he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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