i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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