He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
