I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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