I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
