He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
