I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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