just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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