And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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