Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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