You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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