hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
