i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize