Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform