Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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