The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
