Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
