i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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