Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
