Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
