um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
