new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
