lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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