Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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